My thoughts on the Brit Awards...
1. I wasn't sure if Lily Allen came as Robert Smith from The Cure or Liz Taylor, post-stroke.
2. Aston from JLS came as a negative of Kylie.
3. Florence (and the Machine) is actually Noel Fielding in a frock.
4. Cheryl Cole, I have seen better lip-syncing from a ketamine-addled drag queen.
5. Fearne Cotton would be a welcome addition to any house fire.
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